DECEMBER 30 – COMMUNITY IS THE GOAL

 Jesus kindly responded, “I know you are worried about doing a good job. But there is only one thing most important. Mary chose correctly. I won’t correct her.” (Matthew 10:41-42)

                   When you must correct one of your people, do you do it kindly? Do you talk about issues instead of blame? Do you protect the vital relationships of your group community and avoid needlessly humiliating people? Do you address conflict and its resolution transparently, being sure all parties are included?

                   Jesus spoke to Martha in a way that corrected her misunderstanding, “You have misunderstood what is most important.” He noticed that she was a person who wanted to do well. He acknowledged she had good motives. But, He identified the error. Jesus addressed the issue in the presence of everyone who had heard the charge. He answered her directly, explained why, and so settled the issue. He never chose Mary over Martha. He calmed the situation. You would expect that Martha, given this kind explanation, my simply have dropped her dish towel and joined the others, now united in purpose.

                   When you have conflict in your group, lead like Jesus. Be direct. Be truthful. Be transparent and inclusive. But, be kind, show grace and love, and so build community.

DECEMBER 29 – CONFLICTS ARE CERTAIN

(Martha) had a sister, Mary, who sat by Jesus’ feet, listening as He taught. Martha, who was scrambling to prepare for the gathering said to Him, “Doesn’t it bother you that Mary isn’t doing her job; helping me. Tell her she’s wrong!” (Matthew 10:39-40)

                   Where there are two people, there are usually at least two opinions - maybe more. Often one of those opinions or a person’s actions may be wrong. Do you care enough about your people and their development to tell them the truth? Will you risk the negative aspects of conflict and help them to grow?

                   Jesus knows that ignorance is costly. He loved both Mary and Martha. To see conflict erupt in this public way was probably discouraging to Him. How long had they been friends? Why did Martha not understand? Jesus also knows people become side-tracked. That is why staying “at Jesus’ feet,” or focusing on Him and His word is so important. In your group, there will be conflict. You will be engaged in conflict. The question is, will you create conflict where it is necessary and profitable to your people?

                   In a world of choices, where men and women have freedom to choose, there will be poor decisions. Care enough for your people to confront them when they make poor choices.